How I Risked My Life to Become a Mom (ELLE Canada)

I’ve never been one to make decisions easily. Whether it’s ordering a club sandwich or a Cobb salad, buying a black sweater or a grey one or choosing what to watch on Netflix, I get easily overwhelmed by even the most inconsequential decisions. So when I was diagnosed with breast cancer in my 20s nearly four years ago, I was daunted by how many decisions confronted me. And, unlike choosing between Gilmore Girls and Scandal, some of these choices could actually mean life or death.

Last summer, my oncologist and I discussed the option of taking a break from tamoxifen, the daily medication I was taking to prevent a recurrence of my cancer. Although I am extremely grateful that such a drug exists, the major downside — besides unbearable hot flashes — is that you’re not allowed to get pregnant because its effects could be harmful to the fetus. The recommended duration is 10 years, which also meant I could miss out on my chance to have a child.